This is me, Charis. IBD and my ostomy made me strong and each has helped me define who I am and what I stand for.
For a long time I felt that all I was was a disease – Ulcerative Colitis. My body and therefore my mind felt totally consumed by UC, as did every aspect of my life from my personal relationship with my then-fiance, to school, to work, and to my friends and family. UC had control over everything and I really believed that it did, indeed, DEFINE me.
However, now that some time has passed and I’ll be going on a year with my permanent ostomy (September is the 1-year mark!!), I’ve began to rethink what it means to have something define you and to wonder how the phrase could be thought of differently.
Did Ulcerative Colitis define me? Yes, it did. And I had no control over that, it seemed. No matter what I did, what medications I took, what diets I tried, UC retained its strong hold on me. Stepping back, however, IBD also made me a fighter as there were many times I could’ve thrown in the towel. It allowed me a broader sense of humor as well and shattered any shy bone I had in my body. Aren’t these good things? I think so and therefore, when I push myself, I have to agree that on some level, IBD defined me in a good way.
But does my ostomy define me? When I apply the question to my ostomy, I have a much harder time thinking of the question as negative. I believe that yes, my ostomy DOES define me in some ways, in many ways, actually. I believe my answer has to do with the way I view my ostomy – as a positive addition to my life. To me, my ostomy REPRESENTS my strength, my bravery, and my willpower. From that perspective, it DOES define me because I embody all of those qualities. But there’s still a large portion of my heart and mind that say that, of course, there is much more to me than an ostomy – but all those other parts of me are still linked to my ostomy. So while it may not totally define me, it has certainly helped me become who I am today. It has changed my entire focus and path in life…for the better.
Can you rethink what it means to have something define you? If you can find the positive side of the question, how can you reapply it to IBD or your ostomy? Do you believe it can be reapplied or do you believe otherwise?
About the Author
5 Responses to 30-Day Self-Esteem Challenge, Day 17: Does IBD or an Ostomy DEFINE Us?
Hi, I’m Charis!
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[...] Day 17 Prompt: I often read online and hear people say in person that, “IBD does not define me,” or, “My ostomy does not define me.” Usually when these phrases are said or written, they imply that a disease or an appliance is not all that we are – and that is 100% true. However, is it a bad thing if IBD or your ostomy has helped make you who you are today? When we say that something doesn’t “define” us, are we always implying that such definition is negative? (Full Frontal Ostomy) [...]
Charis, without a doubt, having ulcerative colitis for almost 22 years an being an illeostomate for almost 20 years now, I would say the IBD and definitely my ostomy does define me. I am saying it defines me because I am extremely open to others with the fact that I am an ostomate. I tell others what I have because if they happen to have IBD, need ostomy surgery, or are an ostomate themselves, my openness can lead to helping others. If I was shy and introverted and kept the fact that I have an ostomy to myself, then having an ostomy would not define me at all.
Thanks,
Justin
LTC(R) Justin F. Blum
I love this about you!!! So awesome
Charis, I think of it this way: If I look up the definition of Ileostomy, Chronic Illness, or Chronic Pain, I won’t find my name. But if I look up Cary, those words will be listed as *attributes* of Cary, after family and friend loving and loved individual, honest hard worker, thinker, doer, biker, writer, health activist, physician, amateur photographer, tennis coach, golfer, voracious reader, a work in progress, CDD, etc.
If I look up Charis, I’ll find similar, yet, specific to Charis, other and more unique attributes. If I look up IBD, there’s no Charis in the definition.
What do you think?
I do like thinking of it in terms of an attribute – perfect wording